This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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