its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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