it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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