i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize