Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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