Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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