I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
