If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize