Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you had me at cake vodka
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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