me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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