She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am one with the molecules
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie