Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.