It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
oh god was she eating orange peels again
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.