do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable