i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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