Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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