dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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