it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
