He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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