Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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