I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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