...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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