so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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