Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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