By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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