Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize