Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My life is pants optional.
I love you.
Bad choice
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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