Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
