And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize