i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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