how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok