I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.