Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.