Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
