I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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