She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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