I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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