I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize