Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize