you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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