She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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