I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize