Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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