i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize