Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
