just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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