just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
