YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
