i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize