You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
