It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
