yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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