the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
