Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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